As I lay awake last night mentally preparing for the next few days I started to reflect on a few things. I was recently asked if 10 years ago this is what I saw life like today. It really made me think how 10 years ago I never expected to have two kids let alone two kids with special needs.
10 years ago I was in my early 20's and just getting ready to start my first full-time teaching gig. Honestly never thought I would still be in the same district 10 years later but hey, it is what it is! I was young, ambitious, and ready to take on the teaching world. I was excited to be a kindergarten teacher and I was ready for those new challenges in life.
Fast forward 5 years and being pregnant with my first baby. I always wanted a little boy first! I had the named Landon picked out for years and could not wait to use it! I figured a little boy would be fun. I loved sports and knew I wanted to decorate a little boy's nursery with a sports theme. I was thrilled when we found out we were having a boy and I started my planning right away.
At no point during my early 20's nor my pregnancy did I worry about the possibility of a child with special needs or even autism for that matter. Being a teacher I was learning about children with special needs in my classroom setting but never thought that would happen to me!
When Landon was born he was the perfect little baby in my eyes. I was a new mother who was going to learn new things experiencing them first hand with my little one. It did not matter how many books I read, each kid does not come with its own manual, you just have to learn as you go. I questioned and worried about Landon since the day he was born. We had a few minor hiccups along the way but each new thing came with a lesson. I was learning new things the entire time and at around 18 months I was questioning everything Landon was not doing. I was googling, reading blogs, trying to figure out what was going on. It only took one play-date at a friend's pool and a scary experience for me to realize something was just not right with Landon.
Fast forward to today. I am thankful for what my two special needs children have taught me. Some days are longer than others, some days I wish things were different. Most days I learn something new about my children and myself as a mother. Quinn and Landon are unique, love-able, and amazing. They can both do things so called "normal" kids cannot do. They may not be able to socialize with kids their own age, play-dates for us are few and far between these days. That is a personal choice I make. I want my kids to feel comfortable around peers, not pressured, bullied, or picked on because they do not do things the others are doing. It is hard to hear kids comment on how Landon is still in diapers. TRUST ME if I had control of that situation he would be potty-trained but unfortunately that is not the case.
If I was given the chance to go back in time and pick a different path I would not. These two are my world and I would do anything for them. I was put here to be their mom and fight for them when need be. They are amazing, beautiful, and loving children who have come so far in their few short years on this earth. They are destined for something wonderful in their future and I cannot wait to see where life takes them.
My favorite new question from people is "Wait, you work full-time AND have two children with special needs!?" My response "Yes!" I also let them know I have a husband, and my awesome parents are a huge help! Maybe my future response to this question should be "Why YES, I'm SUPERMOM!"
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